I'm not interested

From the series: Life on Dog Hill

In our house, it’s the time of year when everyone begins their wish lists to Santa. As the parents of seven children (three with significants), there’s a lot of shopping in the few hectic weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even I send a letter to Santa and my wish is always the same: another year at home to write, meditate, play in the garden, and be fully present for my family.

I know, I know… I’m asking a lot of hubby to take on the full burden of financial responsibility, especially with three sons in college. But as a show of gratitude, I work especially hard to be good all year long.

Yet, I must confess; sometimes I falter.

As I work on my letter to Santa, I feel like I should come clean and confess the one or two times I was bad. Okay, it might have been more than once or twice. Still, as I rack my brain trying to record my imprudence, I’m confident this top three list of less than stellar behavior covers it. Disclaimer: each event may have occurred on multiple occasions.

Sheila’s Top 3 “My Bads” for 2013

3) I’ve been deliberately rude to telemarketers. For example, two nights ago we received a call from “Columbia House” disguised as AT&T. They wanted to let us know about the new services in our area. Not sure why they thought we were unaware since AT&T cut down about a hundred trees on our property to add their new cable line. Oh, and they showed up at my door a few weeks later trying to get me to subscribe to their service. Oh, and they’ve sent me a million mailers. So, how could I not know? I nicely told the lady that we were aware the new service and that we were not interested in converting. She said she completely understood and then proceeded to ask me if I wanted more service for less money? To which I replied, “I think I just said we were not interested in converting. What part of that did you not understand?”

Just as I started to tell her to take our number off the f#@&ing call list, I get this: Click.

Last night another call came in from Columbia House, again disguised as AT&T. I elevated my irritation to stage two and answered the call prepared for battle. As it turns out, AT&T was calling to inform us that we had been removed from the call list. They called to tell us they wouldn’t call anymore? Unbelievable!

Even though I’ve added our number to the “Do Not Call List” a gazillion times — they still call. That means that someone we are currently doing business with is selling our information. When I find out who it is… oops, I feel another “my bad” coming on so I better stop now.

2) Which brings me to my next bad… I waste government resources; specifically, I waste US Postal Service resources every time I return a credit card offer without filling out the paperwork. Even though I’ve repeatedly requested to block all credit card solicitations, we get them daily in our mailbox. So, I fold everything up, stuff it into the pre-paid envelope, and stick it right back in the mailbox. It’s my passive-aggressive way of saying, “No thank you, and take me off the f#@&ing mailing list.”

My son Nate once sent a banana peel in a postage paid credit card envelope. Maybe I’ll try that next time.

And this brings me to my all-time worse transgression for 2013:

1) As momma bear, I sometimes refrain from sharing the full indiscretions of our children with hubby until long after the fact. But that is only to protect his health. That and it’s so much easier to tell him the dumb-ass screw ups mistakes they’ve made after everything has been resolved. This only backfires when hubby sees the lawyer solicitations in the mail before I do. In my defense, however, I think I should get bonus points for this one because I’ve likely saved hubby from numerous life-threatening heart attacks.

See how good I’ve been this year?

Image found here.

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