There was a time when I was searching. For what, I didn’t know. I only knew that I felt like something was missing in my life. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. So I searched. When I traveled to new locations, I searched. When I met new people, I searched.
In retrospect, I smile. Hindsight is always 20/20. I smile because I found, at long last, that for which I was searching. And it was always right in front of me.
I found me. The truly, authentic me. The me that searched so long to be validated, substantiated, corroborated, confirmed. All it took was for me to validate myself. Accept who I am fully and without concern for how others perceive me. All it took was for me to acknowledge that I am no different from any other spark of the divine, manifest in human form, searching for her own place in this world.
I remember meeting Maryphyllis Horn, shaman, healer and interfaith minister in 2007. I kept thinking to myself that Maryphyllis would “see” in me what I could give to the world. In fact, I remember being disappointed — maybe even a little irritated — that she didn’t mention anything “special” about me. The problem was not with Maryphyllis; rather, it was with me. I kept waiting for someone else to discover the real me because I didn’t have the courage to discover myself.
Finding me took a lot of time and a lot of growth. It took the willingness for me to take chances. To go out on a limb. To stand out from the crowd in my obvious differences. To go against the grain. To think — gasp — my own thoughts that are so vastly different from family and friends. And that’s okay. That’s what makes me… me.
My journey to self-discovery has been long and sometimes difficult, but I have learned valuable lessons along the way. Many of these lessons are captured in my book, Stories from Spirit, a collection of shamanic spirit journeys. After each journey, I reflect on the applicability of the lessons learned in my own life and ask readers to do the same through powerful questioning.
If you feel like you are searching for an ever-elusive “something,” perhaps Stories from Spirit can help you look inward for your answers. As one reviewer said, “Stories from Spirit is a kind and gentle guide for awakening; a reminder of our own mysterious internal presence.”
I believe we are born into this world for a purpose and many of us spend a life time searching for what that purpose might be. It needn’t take a lifetime. When we learn to love and accept ourselves, to follow our own inner voice, to pursue our dreams — that’s when we step into our authentic selves.
Image found here.