As a success coach, I work with people to create the life they’ve always wanted. To get there, a client must know what they want and don’t want. I’ve got a number of tools that I use to help clients gain clarity in those areas if they aren’t sure. But, once they know what they want, there are action steps required for them to begin living that life. And that’s where things can get tough. You see, there is not just one yellow brick road that takes a client where they want to go, there are endless ways to get there!
One of the biggest challenges people often face is decision-making. For some, the contemplation of one action versus another, one path versus another, becomes debilitating and they find themselves doing nothing. Which, for a success coach, is really bad for business!
I am pretty good at making decisions without a lot of consideration and that is because I rely on my instinct — my gut feelings — to lead me in the right direction. So far, I’ve not been disappointed. Another reason that I find decision making easy is because I believe that no matter what I choose, I’ll end up where I need to be. Obviously, both of those tactics require a lot of faith in the universe, but I hold to them vigilantly.
This vigilance even speaks in my dreams. In fact, earlier this year, I dreamed my youngest son and I were at the top of a parking deck. We had separate rolling objects like a bike or skates. As we were exiting, we saw three different ways to go and my son asked which exit we should take. I told him that it didn’t matter because they all went to the same place. In that moment, I took the exit straight ahead and he took the one to the left. The dream immediately changed and the two of us were standing on the sidewalk in front of the parking deck, having arrived at the same time and place via different routes.
I understand that what works for me, however, doesn’t work for everyone. So, when clients are stuck in a decision-making conundrum, I ask them tons of questions. A session typically goes like this:
Me: “Do you know what is keeping you from choosing one over the other?”
Client: “Fear of making the wrong choice.”
Me: “But didn’t we agreed that either choice will take you one step forward in the direction you wish to go?”
Client: “Yes, but I don’t have proof.”
Me: “Do you have proof that you will wake up every morning?”
Client: “No, but the odds are pretty much in my favor.”
Me: “What makes you believe the odds are not in your favor all of the time?”
Client: “Oh. You have a point.”
The amount of energy wasted in simply weighing decisions is phenomenal. It’s a process that stresses the body, deflates emotions and drains mental capacity. Not only for the person struggling with the decision, but for everyone around them. Trust me, I know. My husband is like this. And several of my children.
The bottom line is that going back and forth without being able to make a decision boils down to one thing. Fear. Of. Failure. Fear of failure is what happens when people allow themselves to focus on the lack and not the outcome. Fear of failure occurs when people focus on the gap between where they are and where they want to be instead of focusing on their intention. Fear of failure is the biggest impediment to living the live we truly desire.
I talk about overcoming fear in my post Let go of the past and focus on your perfect future. The five exercises included are a great way to move past fear, no matter if it’s fear from the past or fear of the future. It all boils down to believing — first and foremost — in yourself.
You can do it, I know you can. Believe!