The best compliment a success coach can receive is an affirmation that the work they do makes a positive difference. I recently received such an affirmation in a startling, you-can’t-miss-this-one way. It was about a relationship so hot that it almost caught my house on fire!
I was taking a group of students through various processes–tools that coaches use to help a client shift their perspective. The tool of choice was one of my favorite processes called the focus wheel.
As any coach will tell you, one never knows what to expect in a session. This class was no exception as I asked for a volunteer willing to go through the process with me. When a student came forward, I asked her the most important question needed for any coaching process, “What do you want to create in your life?”
Her response, “A relationship of faith.”
Let me step back for a moment and give you some background on how I prepare and facilitate my coaching and mentoring sessions. Before the session begins, I light a candle and incense and then meditate. I turn inward to ground myself and to set the intention for a successful session. This guarantees that, once the session begins, I’m ready.
Now, let’s jump back to the focus wheel and the student who wanted to feel content in a faithful relationship. Core to my coaching is the understanding that whatever we look for in life is what we find.
In other words, if we focus on achieving our dreams, we will achieve our dreams. If we focus on failure because we are filled with fear, then we will find failure. It’s that simple — that which we focus on expands.
That which we focus on will be confirmed as our truth again and again. Not because it is an undeniable truth that cannot be altered; rather, because in our attention to it — our expectation of it — we have found it. —Abraham
For example, the acceptance that nothing you achieve will come to you without hard work. If you’ve accepted that belief, even subconsciously, then guess what? You’ll have to work your butt off for every good thing that comes to you! This is why it’s so important to become mindful of our thoughts and to focus on ideas that support what we want.
With the focus wheel process, we define what we want to create or feel and then we surround that desire with “truths.” It’s a beautiful exercise in that it reminds us of the truths we desire rather than allowing us even to consider the truths we don’t desire.
When the student talked about having this beautiful relationship of faith, I asked her to give me some affirming truths about the relationship. As she started to tell me the wonderful things that exist between her and her partner, we both made notes on our respective wheels. The session was going great, when I leaned back in my chair and listened while the client described her truths. I smiled in knowing that she already had what she desired.
Imagine my surprise when I noticed that my focus wheel had caught fire! Somehow I had managed to push the edge of the paper into the flame of the candle and poof! Flames were all over my desk.
“Oh crap!” I exclaimed as I pounded the desk with my hand to put the flames out. I couldn’t help but laugh. There was something the student hadn’t revealed about this relationship — it was a hot one. I took the opportunity to share my thoughts with the group. It’s no surprise when, a few minutes later, the student revealed that this relationship was, in fact, sexually hot!
In spite of my momentary panic at seeing my desk in flames, I’m so grateful for this experience. Had my papers not caught on fire, the student might have overlooked this important truth. Had my papers not caught on fire, I might have missed the lovely note I received from the student afterward telling me how appreciative she was for my coaching her through the process. Not to mention, she enjoyed the humor of it all.
Coaching and mentoring others is incredibly rewarding for me. Every session, whether with an individual or a group, is an affirmation that I’m following my heart — my calling.
What do you want to create in your life? What’s stopping you?
Image found here.