Monthly Archives: May 2011

The Power of Choice

Have you ever thought about how powerful the simple act of choosing can be? Think about it for a minute. When we were children, our parents, teachers and elders made decisions for us. Can you remember the first time you were given the responsibility to actually decide on something significant all by yourself? Maybe it was picking what you wanted to eat off of a menu. Maybe it was choosing which kitty you wanted from the litter. Maybe it was deciding (all by yourself) what you wanted to wear for picture day at school. From the time we are children and begin making our own decisions, we feel the “power” that owning a decision can have.

Now, let’s come back to our adult world and think about how we feel regarding decision-making. Some of us may find it burdensome — too many things to have to figure out — while others may relish it.

From a Western cultural perspective, there is one time, however, that 99.999 percent of us want to have control over decision-making and that’s when we are deciding how to live our own lives. We don’t want, for example, our parents to tell us who our significant other should be; or where to live; or what car to buy; or how to raise our children. We want to use our own feelings of “what’s right for me” and decide for ourselves how to live our life.

Are you choosing to live the life YOU truly desire? If you long for a deep and meaningful relationship, are you choosing to find it? Are you choosing to spend each day doing what you love most? Are you choosing to live each and every day being the person you were meant to be? If not, why not?

Empower yourself to answer three final questions:

  • What do you truly desire in your life?
  • Why do you want it?
  • How will it make you feel when you have it (i.e., how will it impact your life)?

Knowing what you want and why you want it are the most critical questions in determining the life you wish to create. Focusing on how living this life will make you feel starts the wheels in motion.

If you aren’t living the life you truly desire, then join me on Saturday, June 18th for an enriching and motivating seminar, Yes, you can! Overcoming obstacles to create the life you desire. Leah Moretz and I will facilitate you through a thought-provoking session that will help you identify, not only what you desire but why you haven’t already achieved it. More importantly, we’ll teach you how to get there and by the time you leave you will have created your individualized strategic action plan to guarantee results.

To learn more, listen to Leah and I give you the “inside scoop” in our nine-minute podcast.

To register, go to my events page.

I look forward to seeing you there!


It’s a mystery mini-vacation!

I’m not the one who usually plans our family vacations, but this year I stepped up to the plate and offered to plan a three-day mystery mini-vacation for the Memorial Day holiday. There’s a reason behind that, of course, and it all has to do with making memories.

My husband, Tom, often regales me with stories of growing up in Berea, Ohio as one of eight children. According to hubby, the Memorial Day weekend was a very special family holiday which marked the end of the school year. Every year, they would pile into the Ford Country Squire station wagon and drive to the Catawba Island Club where they leased a boat slip. From there, they’d load their stuff into the boat and make the forty minute ride over to Middle Bass Island where they vacationed until ready to go back home. Their days would be spent water skiing, sailing, riding minibikes and playing made up games. Their dad, who owned and flew a Cessna, would join them when his schedule allowed. Pretty sweet life, no?

Tom has so many cherished memories of family vacations on Middle Bass Island and every year around Memorial Day he becomes nostalgic as he recounts their family tradition. In his family, no one ever asked, “What shall we do over the long Memorial Day weekend?” They all knew.

We feel that it’s important for us to make family memories. After all, the time is going by so quickly and it’s not going to slow anytime soon. We may not have a Memorial Day family tradition, but we still want to make memories that our kids will remember fondly.

So, in honor of my husband’s Memorial Day memories, I’ve planned a special mystery mini-vacation for Tom and our three youngest sons. The boys have no idea where we’re going or what we’ll be doing. The only hint I gave them was to bring swim trunks and a pair of old tennis shoes.

Come back next week to see our mystery mini-vacation unveiled. Until then, have a wonderful and safe holiday.


Loving through differences — even fiction can have a message

For those of you following my coaching blog, thank you so much! What you might not know is that I’m also a writer and recently published my first work of fiction, Truth Runs Deep. Generally, I try hard to keep my work as life coach and writer separate by maintaining two separate websites, separate blogs, separate mailing lists. But today I realized that my writing blog offers a very powerful life lesson and that I should share it here as well.

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I remember watching the evening news with my husband, Tom, on the day that Tyler Clementi’s suicide was reported. I remember that, for whatever reason, we were in the downstairs playroom sitting on the red sofa. I remember having a bad feeling about where the story would go before they even got to the tragic part.

Tyler Clementi was the eighteen year old Rutgers student who jumped off the George Washington Bridge last September after his roommate video tapped him having a sexual liaison with another male student and then streamed it live via the internet. As I sat and listened to the story unfold, I felt the tears well up in my eyes, my throat closed, my stomach knotted. I tried to imagine the humiliation he must have felt — but even more so, I tried to understand why he felt that he couldn’t go on living. Was he in the closet and fearful of coming out? Was he afraid of a lifetime of rejection and ridicule? Why? Why? Why?

At the end of the program, I turned to Tom and choked out, “This is what my book is about. What the pain of feeling unlovable, unacceptable can do.”

Even fiction can have a moral and if there is one message I would want people to take away from reading Truth Runs Deep, it would be this: “Love through the differences.”

We all have different beliefs and biases based primarily on our life experiences. If we can learn to love, support and nurture each other through our differences — not in spite of — just imagine how totally empowered we could be as families, friends, communities and a global village. Loving through the differences implies acceptance and respect. Isn’t that really what each and every one of us desires?

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What do you desire? I’d love to read your comments below!